Cari purchased a mattress warmer instead of an electric blanket. This should give more even heating and prevents the dog from chewing out the wires. Rick is the one who said dogs like to chew on the wires in electric blankets. I reminded Rick those blankets are probably not suited for dogs.

I climb into bed last night and Cari says, "how do you like the warmer?".
"I think it's great if you want to get 3rd degree burns while you sleep!", I reply.
I'm serious. This thing is warming my back so much that I kept flipping over to prevent over cooking.

Cari sits up all of a sudden. When I ask her what's the matter, she reaches for the ceiling fan that was spinning slowly. "How do you people expect me to sleep with this fan on slow?", she says.

YOU PEOPLE? I take a quick look around. Nobody else to be seen. "Who is 'you people'?", I ask. She doesn't answer. I get up and leave the room. When I come back, Cari asks me where I went.

"You are going to be featured on the blog tomorrow, I made some notes. Good night.", I tell her calmly. She replied with a groan.

I lay in bed, too hot on my back, too cold on my front. This must be some sort of science experiment I am living.
It's not funny.