New diet!

I have this new diet plan that I tried out last night. I swear if you stick with it, this one will work.

So all you have to do is work long hours at your job and instead of going home, follow up your work with a few meetings. An example of a good meeting would be joining a church committee.

After the meeting, you'll be getting home so late you'll be too tired to cook and your dinner will consist of a small bowl of cereal. For quicker results, use low fat milk.

Rules Not Included

Have you ever been to a hockey game?  Until this past weekend, I hadn't either.  This isn't the most popular sport in the South.  In some circles around here there are only two sports; NASCAR and football.  I've probably invested no more than an hour of my life to paying attention to hockey, so I wasn't sure how exciting this would be.  What follows are some quick observations and thoughts about a game I know nothing about.

As the crowd started coming in, I noticed people wearing hockey jerseys and realized that there are people that really like this game.  Then I saw this guy.

With his special cow bell and helmet / beard costume, I knew he had been to at least one game before.

What are the rules of hockey?  Well, here's what I figured out.
The object is to make as many goals as possible in three 20 minute periods.  How we ended up with an odd number like three is beyond me.  Ask a Canadian.  Off-sides and high sticking were two rules that I heard about but had a hard time observing on my own.

The action is quick and substitutions seem to happen on the fly. Seemingly at random guys would dive into the little door at their bench and a few other guys would jump over and start skating.  The refs seem to be trying to avoid getting beat  up as often as they are enforcing the rules.  The game feels a little chaotic at times.  Once in a while someone would break an unknown rule and get tossed into the penalty box for a specified amount of time.

When I started writing about hockey you expected me to mention violence, didn't you?  Uh, yeah.  There were plenty of guys getting slammed into the glass / plastic walls surrounding the ring.  A lot of times a player would get slammed into the wall and then pinned there for a moment, taking him out of the play, until the puck was slapped toward the other end.  Pretty much anytime two guys got near each other you could guarantee one was going to push or hit the other.

When I fight broke out, a rip-your-helmet-off throw down, the refs stood nearby and watched as the crowd cheered them on.  I was confused.  These guys were holding each others' jerseys in one hand and punching each other with the other.  Shouldn't the refs be stopping this?  Not until one guy was on the ground and the dominating player was beating him did the refs step in to pull them apart.  They were both immediately put into the penalty box for fighting.  Right.  Put them in the same box after they were trying to rip each other apart.

By the end of the night I was starting to understand some of the basic rules and I knew that hooking had nothing to do with prostitution.

Would I go again?  For sure.  In one night I more than doubled the amount of time I've ever spent thinking about hockey and had a lot of fun.

Two Photo Sunday

Just want to take a moment this afternoon and share two pictures of my baby with you.

First, here she is when I asked her to please go get in the car so we leave for the store.

This other picture was how I found her after going to bed recently.  Now that we have watched all of the Lord of the Ring movies she has decided she loves Frodo.  Her sister helped her print some pictures from the internet.  This picture is with her at all times.

 I'll have to get a video of her saying "My precious!".  It's pretty creepy.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Enjoy your day.

Meredith

Meredith didn't join us on our hike that I wrote about earlier this week.  I don't know why.  Instead, she sent a substitute in her place.  Don't believe me?  Go back and look at the photos.  Try and find her!

A few days later, she brought home some graded school work.  Here's a sample of her work.

At least she got an A.

The Hike

A few weeks ago we had some amazing January weather and a free afternoon so we loaded up the car and found a trail.  

We ended up at the Asbury Hills Methodist camp in South Carolina.  Well, we actually ended up at the gate to the camp.  To open the gate you just needed to key in the magic password on the keypad.  It was that or bust through the gate with your car.  They prefer that you call ahead so that they can provide you with the code.  I didn't do that.  Instead I risked the hike, or their gate, and called once I got there.  The man on the other end of the line (does that saying even make sense any more?) gladly gave me the code and we were in!

Inside we found a triple trail with frog eggs, a creek, and a cable bridge.   Here's some photos of our adventure.

Everyone is happy at the beginning.  

 Triple trails!  Pick your favorite color.

 Still plenty of energy.  RUN!

 A mountain of frog eggs in a puddle.  I've never seen them before and they were awesome.  Some of our group even braved touching them.  I skipped out on that part.

 An old info box with piles of rock in and on it.  Cari joined in the fun and this gave me an idea.

A creek!  Beautiful.

 A cable bridge.  One for your feet and one for your hands.

Remember that info box?  I decided to build a cairn in the creek.  Want a history on stone cairns?  Something about them fascinates me.  This one is for decoration, but I have encountered them on trails before where they helped mark the way forward.   Such a simple concept that has been used for centuries. 

 Triple trail blazes leading the way out.  Moving a little slower.

Remember that girl running down the trail at the beginning?  Out of gas.

Delay

This blog about a fantastic hike that includes stories of rope bridges, frog eggs, and cairns has been delayed.

I normally would have written this on Sunday, but time slipped by faster than I expected and then I had to watch the Superbowl.  I'm American.

Prayer Request

Every Sunday during church, the pastor asks if there are any prayer requests.  Last Sunday, I sat in the third pew from the front as I listened to members of the congregation ask for prayers.  Pray for safe travel.  Pray for a neighbor that lost a job.  Pray for successful medical treatment.  Then from the front row, a loud voice emerged,  "EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! It's me, Brenna!"

My eyes had been focused on the pastor and on the cross behind him.  Now I turn my attention to a small girl sitting in the front pew.  My small girl.  Panic flowed into my body.  Before the pastor could reply, Brenna continued, "Nisha (our dog) pooped on the rug yesterday."   This announcement prompted the church to break into laughter.  Brenna twisted around to look back and smile at me.  She waved.  I was in the middle of the pew, with people on both sides of me and feeling a little helpless.  I didn't see a way to get up and retrieve her without causing a bigger scene.  I put a finger to my lips in a plea for her to be quiet and then I sat back to pray that she would behave.  The pastor laughed and made a comment about the unpredictable things children will say.  Everyone bowed their heads as the pastor said a prayer.  I peeked up at Brenna and she was also sitting with her head bowed.

Randy was sitting next to me and whispered, "How did she get in here?"  That was a great question.  She should be in the nursery.  As the pastor's prayer ended, my phone vibrated in my pocket.  A text from Cari.  She was in the fellowship hall preparing a meal for everyone.  Her text said,  "Bren snuck away from me.  You got her?"

I looked up at my four year old, still sitting in the front pew.  Alone.  Do I got her?  Um. . . no.  She was quiet for the prayer, but she wouldn't sit still for long.  I texted Cari, "She is in front row. On her own. Bad idea. Talking!!!"  My text was panic.  At some point the girl will waltz right up to the front and start talking.  After the laughter she gained from her first outburst she will feel emboldened to continue.  

At this time a guest speaker got up and stood near the front pew where Brenna was sitting.  Brenna looked up at the speaker, got up, and bolted to the back door.  She was gone.  It was over.  I took a breath.

After church it was hard to find anyone that had seen Brenna enter the sanctuary.  It's like she was invisible until she spoke.  Many didn't notice her leave either, but everyone had heard her prayer request.

I know what my prayer request will be tomorrow, and it's not about the dog.

Solve for X

Happy Birthday my love!

You'll have to figure out how old she is for yourself.  I'm not allowed to do your homework for you.

Botanical Lunch

With this crazy great January weather, I took the opportunity to walk around the South Carolina Botanical Gardens in Clemson during one of my lunch breaks.  

I have been there several times before, but this was the first time I found this sculpture. 

It's called Crucible: Crucibulum Evoltum

Inside, the stone floor spirals down to the center where a natural spring bubbles up.  Directly above the spring is an opening to the sky.

It was a really interesting sculpture tucked away in the woods and I enjoyed exploring it on a quiet afternoon.  There are probably other treasures out there that I've over looked in my prior visits.

I finished my lunch on a nature trail as I examined the texture of the bark of various trees.

Can you name them all?

Time for a Date

Cari and I went on a date Friday night and we decided to head into downtown Greenville.  After dinner, we walked around town and started a game.  As we passed strangers on the sidewalk, we'd hear parts of their conversation, and then we would fill in the blanks of the story.

There was the street preacher, the girl crying out like a horse (yeah...true), and the couple on the bridge.  The couple on the bridge was our favorite.  They were each dressed up a bit and standing a few steps away from each other.  As we approached, it was obvious in their body language that they weren't having a great evening. The woman said something about not wanting to spend time with him.  "That's why I made other plans for tonight! I don't want to be with you."  He mumbled a response as we passed them and as we got farther away I heard her say something about him calling all the time.

Cari and I had a great time trying to figure out that story.  If she had made other plans and didn't want to be with him, how did they both end up dressed nicely, standing on a bridge together?  Cari's favorite scenario for them is that the woman was at a nearby restaurant with her friends when the stalker boyfriend stood on the sidewalk tapping on the windows.  She finally had to come out and confront him.

We made our way over to Falls Park and got coffee in a place filled with hipsters.  Then we saw it.  This sign.

Under 18 not allowed in the park after 10pm.  I looked around for some teens so I could point my finger and taunt them.  As I was choosing my target, Cari grabbed my arm and stopped me.  "It's not ten o'clock yet."  

Even though the teens were allowed in the park with us, it was still a great date and we had a great time.

Your Serving Size Is Stupid

How many pop tarts are in a foil package?  Two.  How many pop tarts make up a serving size?  One.
What the hell should I do with the other one?  It's in a foil pouch that disintegrates as soon as you start to open it.  If they intend for you to only eat one at a time, then they should wrap them individually.  Is this more efficient packaging in action? That's not possible!  Once I start to open it, if I only eat one as they supposedly expect, then I'll have to find some other means of wrapping up the extra tart. Where's the efficiency in that?  This isn't about packaging or anything else innocent.  This is about a scam! They want to put lower values on the nutritional label to encourage you ... no. . .. to trick you into thinking their product isn't so bad.

I'm okay with having multiple servings in the same package.  There are plenty of examples of this.  Stuff like BREAD does this.  They usually include a twist tie so I can get my serving of bread and then close it back up.  It's not like you tear open a foil pouch containing a loaf of bread, get your one or two pieces out, and then look at it like, "What the f*ck am I supposed to do with the rest of this bread?"

I'm just waiting for other companies to really start taking advantage of this.  Things like candy bars.  Imagine a Snickers with two servings. What are you supposed to do with a half eaten Snickers?  I'll tell you what.  If you want your nutritional info to look great, just jack up the servings per container.  Let's make a Snickers bar equal to thirty servings. At that point, I'd print "ONLY 9 CALORIES" really large on the wrapper. People would be on the damn Snickers diet the next day!  This makes about as much sense to me as 2 servings in a pop tart pouch.

(Yes. I know the picture I posted is not Pop-Tart brand.  But it's the same thing and the same issue)

Life Without Television

Every once in a while I'll spot something while I'm driving and say, "Oh! Look at that!".  Most of the time I just keep driving and thinking about how cool that thing was.  When I drove past this piece of graffiti in an industrial part of town, I immediately started looking for a place to turn around or make a u-turn. 

I picture someone with a can of spray paint walking around town looking for a canvas.  Here was a run-down industrial building at the intersection of a main road, perfect for getting the message out. 

So what's the artist trying to say?  Life without television looks horrible?   Maybe the artist wants us to contemplate our lives without television. 

Then again, maybe the intention was to get someone to say, "Oh! Look at that!"

Temple Run

This four year old is going for the record score in Temple Run.  

It's just a matter of days before her skill and concentration defeats us all.

South Carolina Rocks!

Time to vote for a Republican.  They say that being an early primary state is good for us.  We get a lot of attention for this.  All the media is scouring the countryside interviewing people.  All the candidates are hopping from town to town clapping their hands.  The bonus is all of them are talking about South Carolina.  It's like free advertising.

What they didn't tell us, the citizens of this beautiful State, is that we'd have to put up with so much noise.  Political ads are almost impossible to escape unless you lock yourself in your room.  But even then, Santorum, will still be standing in your yard throwing pebbles at your window.

And now it's time to go vote for a Republican.

Eight Cents Too High

Some people will drive several blocks, or even across town to find the cheapest gas.  The joke has always been that you'll spend more money in gas getting there than the amount you'll save shopping there.  Usually, gas prices don't vary more than a few cents from store to store in the same town.

Me?  I just buy gas where ever I am when the car runs out.  I don't have time to be filling up all the time, so I just wait until I think it's about to shut off and then pop into a station.   When I got to that point yesterday I had the choice of two gas stations.  One was a local "cheap gas" option and the other was a Shell station.

Shell was TEN CENTS higher than their cheap neighbor.  Really?  If Shell was two cents higher, I might have chosen them.  Partly because of their advertising about how awesome they are.  But for a dime a gallon I'll just stay on this side of the intersection.

It would have cost me more to fill up at Shell than driving across the street.