Don't eat the ribs

While at work yesterday I received a text message. I flipped open my phone and saw this:


From: Cari
Making ribs
love self madly
made self
happy love u 2


My first thought was that Cari had gone crazy. I tried to call her for some clarification. She didn't answer. After reading the message three times I figured that she made some ribs. It also seemed she had seriously fallen in love with herself. She called me back and said she was on her way to the park with the kids. She also had three neighbor kids with her too. Now I'm really thinking she has lost it. Cari went on to tell me how good the ribs she grilled turned out.

When I called from work in the evening she told me that she had talked with the Yankee neighbor and his ugly pregnant wife. At five in the morning Thursday, they would be dropping off their young Yankee boy for her to babysit.

"Put the ribs down. Don't eat any more ribs. Maybe you didn't cook them enough. I think you have some kind of food poisoning that affects the brain.", I told her.

This morning she woke up with that "What have I done?" kind of look.