I paid a visit to the dentist today. Everyone else in the family has been in the past two weeks, and now it was my turn.
They call me through “the door”. I followed a lady to the last room on the left.
She smiled, "“now I've seen everyone in your family."”
“"yeah."”, I replied with no enthusiasm.
“"I've heard a lot about you, how long has it been since you have been to the dentist?"”
“"about ten to twelve years, I'm not really sure.”"
She kinda laughed at my answer , "“why did you wait so long?”"
“"I have been busy.”"
“"for ten years?”", she didn't seem to buy my excuse.
“"yeah, it's been some busy times.”", I told her matter of factly.
After some x-rays “the chair” got laid back. The bright light was placed over my head, and she handed me some safety goggles. Now it has been a while since I've been to the dentist, but I have never put goggles on before. We must be getting ready for some serious work, stuff is going to be just flying out of my mouth.
She shows me the major scraper that she is going to be working with. This thing has an electric motor. Not a drill, just a scraper that vibrates at high speed to get all the chunks of tartar glued to my teeth.
Next, my favorite part. The sucker tube. I hate that thing.
So, I lived through the scraping and polishing of my teeth. She told me I didn't have any cavities, and that I seem to have strong teeth. Must be from all the ice I crunch. Lesson learned? No need for 6 month check ups, I'm doing great!
But the visit was not over. This was a trick. She was not the dentist. After she got done, the dentist came in. I never saw this person because I was laying down. He came in from behind me and sat down near the top of my head. He poked around with his own pointy tool. He discussed the computer with the woman for a few minutes. Then he told me he recommends pulling my wisdom teeth out. He said they are far back there and it would be hard for me to keep them clean.
YOU ARE A MORON! I have not been to the dentist in over ten years! Now you think I will allow you to rip four teeth out because I may not keep them clean?! Friggin' idiot.
I didn't respond to him. He got up and walked out, and the woman took charge again. She asked if I wanted a referral so I could arrange to get those teeth pulled. I laughed at her. I really did laugh. She looked at me, and she must have known what I was thinking. “Your wisdom teeth are all the way in, so it would not be that bad, just an extraction. They won't have to cut into the bone or anything.”
CUT INTO THE BONE!?? Don't even say that around me. Let me tell you, these teeth are not coming out of my head until I am in so much pain, that I have eaten nothing but soup for eight months. Even then, I would have to seriously consider my options. I kinda like soup.
"“Yeah, I'm not ready to make that appointment today."”, I said politely.
As she was finishing her report, she said my teeth were good, but she doesn't recommend I wait that long for another cleaning/check up. I made another appointment for six months from now.
I'm good for another ten years.
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