Neighbor Update

In honor of my April Fool's Day HOAX, here is an update on my neighbors:

Winter is over and the neighbors have come out from hibernation. It's time for an update.

To my left we have the Yankee and his ugly wife living a few doors down. I'm pretty sure they have some children, but I've never seen them outside. They still won't wave as they drive past you on the block. At least they keep the grass cut.

Also on my left we have yard maintenance maniac. I don't think I've told you about this guy before. Probably a nice guy, but we have never really said more than hello over the years. Cari has had lunch with maniac's wife and I'm told she is nice. This guy fertilizes, waters, and stares at his grass on a regular basis. He cuts it a minimum of once per week during the summers. He even changes the direction of the cut each time. Last year he sprayed round up on his entire yard and then tilled it up. Then he planted some seed and started fresh. I'm not really sure what this is all about. I think he may hate being inside with his wife.

On my right, we still have atheist and his religious wife. They don't come around much. They have a new baby whose name was chosen from the Bible. They recently got two dogs that bark at me when I'm snooping around their yard. The smaller one gets out of the fence sometimes and plays with our dog. At some point, our dog will probably eat it.

Across the street are some good friends of ours. They have some children about the ages of ours and the kids are always playing at one house or the other. The wife of that house is a supplier of gossip on the neighbors. She won't tell me any gossip directly, but she tells Cari, who tells me.
I get all my gossip from behind closed doors. I wouldn't want to be known as a nosy neighbor or something!