Control the Conversation

There is so much political play involved when dealing with groups of people.  That's one of the reasons I love to watch Survivor.  I love to see how people control the conversation.  How people manage the perceptions of others.  I haven't played on Survivor, but I imagine how I would do sometimes as I control the conversation at work.

Recently, an email I wrote was forwarded to the person I was writing about.  This created a stressful moment as I didn't want to diminish the relationship with the person I wrote about.  It was going to look like I was tattling and I needed to maintain my trustworthiness.  I needed to control the conversation.

It would be less confusing if I could tell the details, but I. . . well, let's try it this way. . .

At work Bob is the boss.  Charlie is the co-worker.  I believe Charlie may be doing something inappropriate at work but it isn't my place to address it directly.  I write an email to Bob with my concerns.  Well, Bob forwarded my email to Charlie as a way of handling the issue.  It was like, "Hey Charlie, look at the perception out there."  My name was still attached to the email.

I didn't want Charlie to be upset with me for ratting him out.  I had to take control of the message.  When I got to Charlie, he hadn't read his email yet.  I brought up the concerning issue in a very light way and it was more about how others at work might perceive his actions.  I also told him I emailed the boss about it and gave a vague reason why I did that.  Then I redirected the conversation away from the email.

It worked.  He now knew I sent an email to the boss, and he heard it from me.  When we ended the conversation, he seemed good with me.

Some time has passed since this incident and all is well between Charlie and I.  I'm glad that I took charge of that conversation.  Had he read the forwarded email first, he may have approached me to find out why I had told on him.  He probably would have felt betrayed and not taken the time to understand why I sent the email.

By taking control of the conversation I was able to manage his perceptions of me and my actions.  I should be playing Survivor!