What is a Pallbearer?

Our very close friend that has counted us a member of her family since we met has passed away recently.  I chose not to post about it here but after my experience of participating in her funeral I decided that I wanted to write about that experience.

I was asked by Jewell's son and husband to be a pallbearer in her funeral and I accepted without knowing exactly what that meant.  I pictured in my head a pallbearer from an 1800's funeral holding up the casket but in the funerals I have attended over the past few years I have always seen the funeral home to be the ones re-locating the casket as needed.

Although I didn't understand it fully, I was still honored to be asked to participate.   The day of the funeral all six of the pallbearers were called together and given some instruction by the employees at the funeral home.  We were told we would walk into the chapel behind the preachers and we would be seated in the front pews.   We would then walk out when the preachers walked out.    This kind of confirmed my feeling that a pallbearer is a hold over of tradition.  Maybe not a necessary role in modern times.  Don't take this wrong, I still took this seriously and felt it was important to be a part of the funeral.  It just didn't seem like there was a physical need for this role.

At the conclusion of the funeral we pallbearers followed behind the preachers as they made their exit of the chapel.  Outside the doors we were directed to stand three on each side of the doorway.  The casket was wheeled to us and it struck me. We had a job to do!  Without much warning or direction we were asked to pick up on the handles and walk toward the hearse.  At the car the driver opened the back and directed us how to set the casket into the car and pass her forward.

What did it feel like carrying a casket?  It was a little heavy trying to hold it with one hand as we walked to the car.  It also created a unique emotion in me.  This was not the sensation of carrying something down a sidewalk.  The six of us were helping Jewell to her final resting place on this Earth.  The sense of having her in my hands was real and increased the significance of being her pallbearer.

At the cemetery the six pallbearers gathered around the back of the hearse and, again, were given some brief direction.  We unloaded the casket from the car and passed it back so that each person could have a hand on the handle.  We carried Jewell to her grave and moved to the side of the canopy that had been erected to protect the grave site.

Standing on the side of the grave listening to the preacher's final prayers I no longer felt that being a pallbearer was a hold over of tradition.  This is an important role and I am grateful to Allen and Bill for asking me to participate.