Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Breaking and Entering

I was surprised to hear the Yankee at my door so I went downstairs to see what was going on.  She had locked herself and her kids out of the house.  

She came over to see if I knew how to open her door with a credit card.  
"Yeah, I do know how.  Use it to call a lock smith.", is what I thought about saying but instead I told her I would come over and try to break into her house.  

In all this time I might (MIGHT) have spoken to Mrs. Yankee neighbor once.  It was a little awkward walking over to her house with her.  What are you supposed to say?  "So. . . you're a Yankee, huh?"  I'm not sure how that would have went, but I didn't want to create a problem since I was about to break into her house.  

I had an old credit card in my hand and I mentioned the weather.  She agreed how nice a day it was and I told her it is a good thing she didn't lock herself out last week because it was only 20 degrees last week.  The conversation seemed safe and lasted until we got to her house. 

I got right to work and started jamming the credit card into the door.  The door remained closed and I had now had a bent up credit card.  I ran home to look on Youtube for advise.  If anyone knows how to break open a secure lock, it's the freaks on Youtube.  While I did a quick search, Cari took  the card and tried it on our house.  She got it on the first try, but when I ran over to get some pointers, she couldn't reproduce her feat.  

I carried a ladder back to the Yankee house after I complained to Cari that she faked breaking into our door.  She says she didn't lie, but how do you break open a door once and then suddenly forget how you did it?  Seriously!

When I arrived back at her house, I had Randy with me.  Yankee was sitting on the porch and her kids were running around on some kind of sugar high.  I climbed my ladder and started checking her windows.  They were all closed but I spotted one that wasn't locked.  I popped the screen and lifted the window.  She seemed very happy with my progress and was already thanking me as I shoved Randy through her window.  Randy landed with a thud on her hard wood floors that made me laugh and Yankee wince.  After the thud we heard, "I'm ok!"

The boy opened her door and was proud of his handy work.  As we went home he told me how he broke into their house and how much fun it was.  By dinner time it seemed that he had become an expert on climbing through windows.

So much so, that I was beginning to think he wanted to make his own how-to video for Youtube.  


3 comments:

rakethetable said...

After falling over with laughter from reading this, I want to yell out..... "I'm ok!"

Anonymous said...

I believe Cari when she says she opened the door with the card!!

This was hilarious! I can't wait to read more. Maybe now you and Yankee neighbor will become best buddies! Sunday dinners at each other's homes!!

BTW.. the word verification word is "jackedaw." I don't know why but that seems like something you might call a Yankee.

Aaron said...

Kid has a bright future!