How to fight a Goose

There were a lot of Mallard ducks in the water next to our camp site. The four of us had fun throwing bread and watching the three birds eat. After a few minutes three more showed up. Then two more splashed down and swam over. Word about our camp got out in the duck community quick.

We took a break from feeding them to feed ourselves. Most of the ducks swam off with bellies full of bread. After we finished our own dinner, we looked back toward the water and saw two Canadian Geese sitting on the edge of the water. Several of my readers are Canadian, so I'll refrain from making Canada jokes tonight.

Cari decided to feed the geese. They stood close to her and would just about eat out of her hand.

When we had exhausted our entire bread supply on the birds, we moved on with our evening. The birds wouldn't leave. Maybe they were still hungry.

I shouted at them once or twice. It didn't chase the geese off, shouting only earned me strange looks from neighboring campers.

I had to be smarter.

Earlier I had watched those Mallard ducks. The larger ones would fight the smaller ones for the food. One thing that stuck out was how they would wiggle their tails. I don't know if this was out of excitement over the bread or a threatening sign. Either way it always seemed to work.

I approached the geese. Not slowly, but very deliberately. I started wiggling my butt at them. This was my move to intimidate them. They needed to know I was serious. My kids fell on the ground laughing at this tactic. I was teaching them how to deal with nature.

The goose that was standing on the shore started backing up. IT WAS WORKING! I continued to move toward the geese while shaking my butt. Both of them were now back in the water.

The second phase of my plan started as I verbally taunted the geese. I was trying to embarrass them.

"****(Canadian joke edited out of this space)****", I shouted.
They didn't reply.

The geese had left our camp. A very important lesson was learned. What was learned will be based on who you ask. What I will tell you is that I taught how to deal with nature. You have to deal with them on a level they understand.

Cari has a different view of what was learned. If she stops laughing long enough, maybe she'll tell you.