Right now, Obama could start touring the country as black Santa and giving people a new holiday to celebrate. Obviously this will be a made up holiday to support retailers. There won't be any religious event connected to it for people to ignore. There also won't be any historical point behind it.
The idea is that when people buy stuff, they feel happier. That happiness only lasts a short time before reality starts to hit again. Think about it, you have made it through Christmas in December, and you have a great feeling all through Spring. Your spirits are high as you approach the fourth of July, and then your world collapses as you awaken on July fifth.
The government shouldn't allow you to live in the slump that takes you through the end of the summer. The government should give you a reason to go out and spend money you don't have. The government should make you happy.
Christmas 2 will feature a black Santa from the South Pole instead of the bearded white Santa. White Santa has plenty to do getting ready for Christmas 1, you know, the one about Jesus. Don't worry, black Santa won't be breaking into your house to see what you bought, he is just a marketing icon.
This year, for Christmas 2, I would like a kayak, Madden 10 for the Wii, a light weight, single man tent, a proper backpack for overnight hikes, and a Curta calculator. Don't worry, I'm not spoiling Christmas 1, my shopping list continues on for several more pages. I just don't want to have to text that much stuff over to black Santa when I can just fax my list as-is to the North Pole.
Obama will probably want to thank me for fixing the economy with this new holiday, but I'd rather just have more presents.
Oh! I can't wait to wake up on July 28th and start my Christmas 2 shopping spree!
What will you buy?
1 comment:
I'm not going to buy anything. I want my free healthcare!
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