Lights Out

When the Atheist and his (no longer) pregnant wife moved in next door they turned on the enormous, million candle light above their garage. The horrible thing about it is that they can't even see the light when the garage door is closed but the darn thing faces my house. A few times I tried to go out and get some photos in the garden during the evening but their light polluted my pictures.

This huge light is on a photocell, so it comes on every night at dark and shines in my windows until the sun comes up. At one point last year Cari asked me to fix our porch light but I reminded her that the Atheists light illuminates our entire yard. The only good thing I can say about crazy giant light is that I never have had to fix that porch light.

Over the past two years, the three million watt bulb they use has become a thorn in my side but I never complained to them. Only to my wife. I learned to adapt to the light mostly by wearing sunglasses when going outside in the evenings.

Two nights ago I came home from work and I couldn't see my porch steps. I looked up to the porch light and wondered why I hadn't ever fixed that thing. Then I turned my head toward the garage of the Atheist. It was dark, and that darkness brought a smile bigger than their light fixture across my face. I might have even let out a slightly audible scream of joy when I did my fist pump of victory.

You see, I realized at that moment, that the bulb had burned out. The Atheist and his wife (and child) have lived next to us for about two years now and if there is only one thing I have learned it is that they will never, EVER, replace that bulb.

Looks like I'll be fixing a porch light tonight.